Thursday, January 31, 2013

Few people will take parenting advice from the mother of one 3 month old- however, most would listen to a seasoned mom of six. One of the most valuable lessons I learned from my mom is the power of life & death in the words we speak over our children.

I shutter every time I hear a parent/caretaker call a child a brat. A mistake. A nuisance. Spoiled.
The words you speak over your child becomes their inner voice. If you call your child a brat they will believe you. & they will emulate that.

Growing up, if I called my brother stupid I had to “take it back” and replace the word; for example, “Mike, you aren’t stupid, you are smart.”

As silly as it seems, it taught us the power of our words over others. It taught us not to believe the negative lies that we’re thrown our way when we got older.

If you are fond of name calling then try telling your child they are acting like a brat but not that they are a brat. Adding two simple words can make
a difference in who they believe they are.

Marriage vs. the "Fairy Tale"

Fairy tales reek havoc on the minds of little girls. Because the more stories we hear as little girls, the more we wait in anticipation for our own Prince Charming to come & whisk us away to our “happily ever after.” And thus, we begin planning our weddings at the ripe age of four or five.
When we finally meet and marry our man, we are shocked to realize, no matter how handsome or charming, he is completely imperfect.

And sometimes, he is more a royal pain in our rump than a charming prince.
But then, we have to stop & wonder why we have such high expectations for him when we, ourselves, are so imperfect too.

I remember feeling mortified the day after becoming man and wife when my husband & I had our first fight over the placement of the dishes in our kitchen. “What have I gotten myself into?!”  I wondered in bewilderment.

I believe marriage is the mirror that causes us to see our flaws, admit them, & then deal with them. It causes us to finally realize how selfish we are & how little we truly regard others. And that’s never an easy thing to do.

If you’d ask me 2.5 years ago what I thought marriage would be like, I’d have given you some version of the “happily ever after” line and less about the partnership, unity and self-examination it really is. But now, 2.5 years later, I know marriage is one of the greatest adventure we can embark on because it’s not always easy breezy; instead, it’s the dealings of two rather imperfect people learning to give a lot and expect less.

The funny thing about marriage is, unless your marriage is abusive, chances are you won’t be any happier with someone else. Every person comes with their own set of flaws and imperfections, which, in turn, cause you to do a little more self-examining too.