Friday, February 14, 2014

All You Single Ladies!

I don't discriminate against holidays. I know companies like Hallmark, Smarties, and Dove will make millions of dollars off of today. I am happy for them.

As a little girl, I loved decorating my shoe box with grandmotheresque doilies, fairy glitter, and Lisa Frank stickers (she was awesome, right?!). And I especially loved standing in the aisles at Wal-Mart, trying hard to pick the perfect Valentine's Day cards to give each of my classmates, debating which one to give the cute boy(s) and the best friend(s).

Those were the days.

It's all fun and games until you get older and suddenly realize Valentine's Day is about more than doilies and crushes. It's about whether or not you are loved.

And that is my beef with V-Day. Single women don't need a reminder that they are... well, single.

While cleaning up my son's favorite hobby this morning (unrolling toilet paper all over the house), I got to thinking. I remembered each Valentine's Day, starting in high school, when I was single, painfully aware that I was missing out on something grand. I felt less than to the girls who paraded their tacky balloons and scented fake flowers around campus.

YES, I was bitter.

But, I was also hopeful. Hopeful that one day, I, too, would be loved.

Today, I celebrate my fourth holiday of being "loved." This a.m., I got roses & chocolate & tonight I'll go on a date.

Precious, I know ;)

While it is nice to have someone by your side, my greatest wish for today is that my single friends wouldn't be sad, or jealous, bitter, or even despairingly hopeful.

I, single friends, will let you in on a little secret.

In marriage, men do not make you feel complete. Sometimes, they don't even make you feel very loved, valued, or appreciated.

And they sure as hell don't wake up every morning and cook you breakfast and whisper sweet nothings in your ear. ;)

Sometimes, on occasion, they will do all those things and make you feel all those things, but most of the time,  they are just plain human.

Love is a choice. Relationships are work. 

Yes, they are also lovely. 

Yes, I wouldn't trade marriage in for being single, but I also hope, single women, you would not trade singledom in for marriage before your time.

It's about being happy with the season God has you in right NOW. 

I know single women dream about meeting their husbands. They dream about the holidays together, blissfully aware that they are no longer alone. They dream about their husbands bringing fulfillment to their life, completeness.

It's all a lie, women! It's a terrible, terrible lie!

You are loved. You are loved NOW.

I wished I'd realized that back then, too.

Your worth and value are not in a man, or  in relationships you do, or do not, have. And if you aren't happy now, with who you are as a single woman, how do you EVER suppose you'll be happy with a man?

Today, CELEBRATE your singledom. Celebrate the freedom it brings you. Celebrate that you do NOT need a man's love to make you feel complete.

You choose whether or not to feel loved. And you are loved, whether or not you choose to see it.

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