Friday, April 19, 2013

Adoption Week: Part III: Alejandro's Adoption Story

This is the story of how my brother became part of our family. This is my mother's perspective... 

Our family a few years back...

In Nov, 2003, we got a call to foster a five week old baby boy. The CPS worker brought him over to our house in a baby carrier a few hours later. His name was Alejandro.

The weekend was crazy busy with our three kids' soccer games and other activities, so, needless to say, it was all a blur.  On Monday morning, however, I went to check on him and as I stood there watching him sleep, with his little hand in a fist above his head, it hit me. I loved him-really truly loved him. At first, the caseworker let us know our time with him was going to be short; however, it was extended several times. We had so much fun with Alejandro his first year. He was so happy, so good natured, & so much fun. He laughed hysterically if you squeezed his butt, made a farting noise, and then said "pee yew!" He loved to dance to hip hop music. He was the life of the party.

       After a year, a new caseworker came on board and decided "enough was enough" -Alejandro's mom did 50% of what she needed to do & the caseworker decided that was enough for her to have a chance of getting him back. It wasn't enough to actually give his mom full custody of him, so the caseworker would give him back to her and let the mom sink or swim. We were heartbroken - it was such a heart wrenching time for us.
In order to begin the transition period, we needed to meet the mom; strangely, we hit it off & my husband and I formed a bond with her. She was only a 19 year old girl, all alone in the world. My husband told me after we left that "we need to adopt her too."

     The weeks leading up to the final transition were so painful. People would make careless remarks like, "I couldn't do it. I'd get too attached"- we were so attached our hearts were breaking. I lost sleep, cried for hours, I was literally sick to my stomach. We were all so stressed out.   There is a beautiful verse in the Bible which says the Lord is close to the brokenhearted - which is so true He really got us through this time.

          Our little boy went home for long four months. We'd visit Alejandro as often as we were allowed. It was painful every time I'd have to give him back. 

And then we got a call. Did we want him? They were pulling him back into the system. My husband and I looked at each other that first night he was back, and without words, we knew each other's thoughts... we want him back, but please don't make us give him back a second time.

       We were so happy to be together again. Our little boy did not let us out of his sight-ever! It took a year before he could stay in the church nursery.

Alejandro at age 8
The road was long, but we adopted him a couple months after he turned 4. We, amazingly, kept on good terms with his mom. I believe in some ways we are her parents too and we are family forever.

      Now our son is nine and he still has a great sense of humor. We are so thankful to God that he's ours forever. - Cara



 And the other two! 

Yes, he cut his own bangs. Look at that smile!
He's quite the charmer!


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