Thursday, January 31, 2013

Marriage vs. the "Fairy Tale"

Fairy tales reek havoc on the minds of little girls. Because the more stories we hear as little girls, the more we wait in anticipation for our own Prince Charming to come & whisk us away to our “happily ever after.” And thus, we begin planning our weddings at the ripe age of four or five.
When we finally meet and marry our man, we are shocked to realize, no matter how handsome or charming, he is completely imperfect.

And sometimes, he is more a royal pain in our rump than a charming prince.
But then, we have to stop & wonder why we have such high expectations for him when we, ourselves, are so imperfect too.

I remember feeling mortified the day after becoming man and wife when my husband & I had our first fight over the placement of the dishes in our kitchen. “What have I gotten myself into?!”  I wondered in bewilderment.

I believe marriage is the mirror that causes us to see our flaws, admit them, & then deal with them. It causes us to finally realize how selfish we are & how little we truly regard others. And that’s never an easy thing to do.

If you’d ask me 2.5 years ago what I thought marriage would be like, I’d have given you some version of the “happily ever after” line and less about the partnership, unity and self-examination it really is. But now, 2.5 years later, I know marriage is one of the greatest adventure we can embark on because it’s not always easy breezy; instead, it’s the dealings of two rather imperfect people learning to give a lot and expect less.

The funny thing about marriage is, unless your marriage is abusive, chances are you won’t be any happier with someone else. Every person comes with their own set of flaws and imperfections, which, in turn, cause you to do a little more self-examining too.

1 comment:

  1. Very well said. I admire your awareness and maturity. God is doing great things in your life and touching others through them.